I found the owner's profile calling himself a vegan, so I made my way up to this gorgeous resort at the top of a hill and was seated only to be confused by the menu. Chicken? Huh. I asked if this was animal chicken or maybe vegan mock chicken.


Was told by the staff that they sold "vegan options" so I exercised my option to walk out and spend my money at a business run by an actual vegan and not someone who sells dead bodies for profit and somehow imagines it's suitable to call themselves a vegan proving they don't even understand the definition. Hint: it's not just a diet. Look it up chief.


When I contacted the owner to ask about this conflict of interests he called me a judgmental extremist, told me go to hell, said nobody would follow me and then blocked me because in his mind, I'm the crazy one for saying restaurants can be vegan, and still survive. On an island with twelve fabulous vegan restaurants, all doing extraordinary business, it's hard to imagine how anyone can live with themselves being a fake vegan poser.


Sorry, champ, Hell is reserved for animal abusers, so I won't be seeing you there. Have a nice trip!